Carousel of Time
by King in Yellow
Summary: How does one become a hero? When do you cease to be one? Kim reflects on some of the forces which shaped her. My entry in a GWA Guess the Author contest whose theme was 'training'. Can be viewed at part of the Best Enemies series, but not necessary.
1. Chapter 1  Beginnings

Joni Mitchell wrote The Circle Game. The lyrics have been changed from male references to female references for this story. 

Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns the various characters from the Kim Possible series. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 1 - Beginnings**

We are many people in a single lifetime.

A woman may be child, student, sister, friend, cheerleader, hero, lover, mother… We can still recognize some of our former selves after the passage of years while some earlier selves we choose to ignore or forget. Who we have been sometimes comes back to haunt us. Detritus of the persons we once were accumulates, the debris of our former selves often being stored in boxes, hidden away until such time as the voice of reason forces painful reality upon us.

"Kim, you have to move all that stuff out of your old room."

"But mom, where am I supposed to put it?"

"That's not my concern, dear. You left all those things when you moved out, we're not the Kim Possible museum."

"Most of it is garbage."

Her mother raised one eyebrow, "So that means we should keep it? You can sort it all out at your place. But it all goes. Oh, except that box on the dresser. That stays here."

Her mother was right, she had moved on and out, but Kim still tended to think of the old room as hers. Before starting to bring boxes and bags out to the car she glanced into the box on the dresser. It was filled with things like pictures she had drawn in kindergarten, a favorite book she had demanded be read every night for a year, the first baby tooth she lost, a Christmas ornament she had made in the second grade, her first little cheerleader top -- Kim was tempted to take that for herself -- the stocking she hung by the fireplace every Christmas for years -- Kim smiled and moved that to one of the boxes she was taking. The contents of the box on the dresser were pieces of her childhood that her mom and dad wanted to keep for themselves.

Kim hesitated when she reached home, the back seat packed with all she had been told to remove from her parents' home. She didn't even know what was in some of these boxes and bags. She had lived without the contents for years -- should she just throw them out unopened now, or should she revisit her former lives and risk storing them until her grandchildren moved her into a retirement home and shoveled it all into the dumpster? She sighed and moved everything up to the bedroom. All these things had once meant something to her. She should look at them again individually before throwing them out.

On top of the first box she opened was a small cloth sack of rocks. Once she could have remembered why she thought each rock was pretty, or on what beach or vacation she had picked it up, and she was almost positive that three of them came from uncle Slim's ranch -- but was only certain now that the crinoid fossil came from there. Ruthlessly she put them all back in the cloth sack and threw it into the trashcan. If everything was so easy to judge and dispose of she should have very little left after going through it all.

But not everything in the first box went as easily as the sack of rocks, although most of it went. There were ticket stubs from movies she had seen with Ron, concert stubs she was still tempted to keep, the brittle remains of the corsage from the dance at which she learned the painful truth -- Ron couldn't dance. A church bulletin from the Christmas pageant where she had an embarrassing solo went to the trashcan. An award for bringing the most canned goods for charity in the third grade went the way of the church bulletin, as did a program for a Jr. High play in which she had a small role. A Coke can in French was a reminder of a family trip to Quebec, and a Coke bottle in Hebrew was a gift Ron brought her back from his first trip to Israel. She set the Coke can and bottle aside; she would decide their fate later. One curiosity caught her eye. She pulled out a small jar that had holes poked in the lid. She wondered what the jar might have been and why it was in with her box of memories, because it held none for her.

**Twenty-one Years ago…**

The Doctors Possible took a break from moving in to sit on the front step and watch Kimberly chasing lightning bugs. The house had left them a little strapped for cash at the moment; although eventually they would be earning enough that it wouldn't matter. But they were setting up and arranging their furniture by themselves to save on moving expenses.

Kim was delighted to be out of a graduate student apartment and to have a yard of her own. She had a big room all to herself now, and while the stairs were scary it was going to be her room. Tonight would be her first night in the new house, in her new room, in her new bed. She wanted to catch enough lightning bugs to use as a nightlight. She laughed as she pursued the fireflies across the grass. James had found an empty jar and poked holes in the lid so she could collect what she captured.

"She's gorgeous," he said to his wife.

"She certainly is."

James sighed. "I'm going to have to buy a shotgun."

"Why? You don't believe in hunting. And a gun would be dangerous to have around the house."

"Oh, I won't buy any ammunition. I just want to be cleaning it when boys arrive to take Kimmie on dates."

They watched Kim for another minute in silence, then Anne asked, "Does it scare you that she's completely fearless."

"Constantly. She's always willing to talk with strangers. I want her to be able to protect herself. I'm actually thinking of signing up for a martial arts class with her -- it's a family program."

"You're joking, right?"

"No. We can't start until she's three, but I think any girl should be able to defend herself. And it will give me a special night with my girl."

Anne shook her head. "I approve of wanting Kim to be able to defend herself. I just think you're starting her a little young." Then she called across the darkening yard, "Kim! Come in, time for bed."

"Ah, mom, just a little more time."

"Better listen to your mother, Kimmie-cub."

The little girl came racing lightly across the yard, jar in hand, "Look at all the lightning bugs I caught!"

Her father admired her haul, then opened the lid and let the beetles fly away.

"Daddy, I caught them. Why are you letting them go?"

"They're living creatures too, Kimmie-cub. They're little, but maybe they have friends and family they want to fly home to. Would you like it if someone kept you in a glass jar away from mommy and me?"

"No. But I wanted a light."

"Tell you what. I'll leave the hall light on for you tonight. And tomorrow we'll buy a night light for your room. How about that?"

"Great! Is it okay to catch lightning bugs again?"

"Sure. Maybe I'll even help you next time. But after you catch them you should always let them go back to their own families. Never be a bully. The stronger should always try and help those who are weaker."

---

Kim saw no reason to keep the jar, but it was glass so she set it aside for recycling.

She gasped as she noticed another item in the box, a piece of wood, cut into a heart shape, about eight inches across. It was crudely painted red, looking like a first-grader had slapped the paint on a crafts project (probably because it was a craft project from a first-grader) and 'Kim' was written on it in big, almost blue letters. Ron had not waited until the red paint tried before he had put on Kim's name in blue, and as a result her name was swirled with streaks of purple. She had thought it wonderful when she had been six and kept it up in the room for three years.

**Seventeen Years ago…**

"I want to thank you, Rachel, for the way you look after Kim."

"It's no problem, really. I work at the JCC and it's a joy to watch Kim. Actually, she and Ron play together so well after school that's its less work for me when she's here."

"I can't believe all the programs the J has, although James and I feel a little odd about belonging here when we're Methodists."

Rachel laughed, "Don't worry about that. About a quarter of the people who belong to the Jewish Community Center aren't Jewish." She hesitated for a minute, then asked, "If you don't mind -- why is Kim so interested in martial arts classes? There are several offered here after school and it seems like she takes all of them. She's talked Ron into taking a couple, but he usually prefers the craft classes."

"Oh, I blame James for that. They took a family class together for years -- until he got a new project a few months ago and has had less time. She says she wants to teach Kung Fu, or karate, or one of those things when she grows up."

"Well, she is remarkable for such a young girl. Several of the teachers here have been very impressed with her. The krav maga instructor said she had never seen anyone even twice Kim's age with so much ability."

"It's called skills transfer. The basics are similar in a number of the disciplines, so while she is starting on something which may sound new she already has learned many of the basics. If she sticks with it she will probably be able to compete in the Olympics someday. But I expect something else will draw her attention one of these days. Still, James likes the idea of her being able to defend herself."

"So long as it doesn't make her aggressive. I worry about some of the kids who take the classes… Oh, not Kim. But I'm glad Ron doesn't take as many as she does."

"I don't think you ever have to worry about Ron. I've never met such a polite young man."

"Thank you. And if we're giving out thanks I need to thank you for watching after him. I think he's at your house more than he's home. If the two of them aren't in school or here I can usually find him at your place."

"They do seem to be inseparable."

"At least for now," Ron's mom agreed. "It's like your Kim and her martial arts -- something else will come up some day. But I think it's wonderful he's got a friend like her."

---

Kim put the heart into a pile of things she wanted to keep. She sighed as she considered how much there still was to look at. And if the first box was any indication she should really wait until Ron got home and look through them with him. It seemed that her past lives were as much his as they were her own. Besides, according to the clock it was time to go get the girls from preschool.

---

_Yesterday, a child came out to wander  
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar  
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder  
And tearful at the falling of a star_

_And the seasons they go 'round and 'round  
And the painted ponies go up and down  
We're captive on the carousel of time  
We can't return we can only look behind  
From where we came  
And go round and round and round  
In the circle game_


	2. Chapter 2  Heroes

Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns all the various characters from the Kim Possible series. Any and all registered trade names are property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 2 - Heroes**

"Come upstairs, you need to see the stuff my mom sent home with me."

"Oh, man, you're not going to make me look at any photo albums, are you?"

"I don't think there are any photo albums -- mom would have kept those for herself. But you'd be surprised by some of the things I'm finding."

Kim took the chair and Ron sat cross-legged on the floor -- which invited the little red head to jump on top of him and give him a big hug, "Daddy! I love you."

"Love you too, sweetie. Give me some sugar." She giggled and gave him a kiss. "Now up on the bed with sister. Your mommy says Grandma Anne sent all kinds of fun stuff home with her."

"Really fun stuff, like treasure?" her sister asked.

"More like things from when your mommy was a little girl," Kim explained.

"That doesn't sound like fun."

"Well the two of you don't have to be in here watching us."

"We'll stay."

---

Ron reached into a bag and pulled out a Pandaroo, still in its original wrapper. "Hey, what's this?"

"Oh, mom told me about that night. I couldn't find my Pandaroo. I refused to sleep. Finally dad went out and found a department store that was still open so he could buy me a new one. But I didn't want a new one -- I wanted my Pandaroo. We found him the next day, out in the back yard. I never let him out of my room again."

"Is that him on the rocking chair?"

"Yes, that's the real Pandaroo."

"He's looking a little threadbare -- or was Threadbear another Cuddle Buddy™? Should you toss him and open up this one?"

"Ron! You're missing the point. My old one is the real one. The unopened one means nothing. Honestly, didn't your parents ever read _The Velveteen Rabbit_ to you?"

"Afraid not."

"Well, I'm going to buy a copy and make you read it to the girls."

"So, we keep the worn out one and toss the unopened one?"

"That's right."

Ron shook his head, the logic escaping him. But two small girls began shouting, "I want it!" "Give it to me." Ron tossed the box onto the bed and the box and cellophane were ripped off the new Pandaroo and the battle for possession began.

"Quiet, you two. We'll decide later."

Kim pulled over a different box and opened it up, "Ohmygawd! Ron, look."

"What is it mommy?"

"It's my old coonskin cap." Ron explained. "I had that for years, then it disappeared. Looks like your mommy borrowed it and never gave it back."

"No, you probably left it… You're right; I borrowed it for Halloween one year. Sorry."

He put it on his head, and Kim joined the girls in laughing. "See, he's grown up a lot since he wore that hat."

He tossed it up on the bed. The girls admired how soft the fur was, but when they realized it had once been a living creature they squealed and each of them kept throwing it off herself -- and onto her sister.

Ron and Kim let the coonskin battle rage quietly while then kept digging through history.

As Ron flipped through a pile of papers he observed, "Looks like someone could never throw away a test or paper when she got a hundred percent."

"You never kept any of your quizzes and tests?"

"Well, I never got a hundred percent on anything."

"You can throw all of that out. I don't think I need to prove I can spell."

He suddenly paused as he flipped through the papers, "This is interesting. Hey, Kim, you want to explain this?"

Kim took what Ron handed her without any idea what it was, but her stomach knotted as she looked at the photo, a ton of painful memories flooding over her. The picture was of a young Shego, probably not more than fifteen, and it was inscribed, "Kim, Keep on fighting! Shego."

Kim stared at the picture for a minute, then said softly, "I thought I burned this years ago

**Fourteen Years Ago… **

"Daddy! Did you just see that story on the news?"

"What story?"

"About a new hero!"

"Sorry, I missed it Kimmie-cub, what did the story say?"

"It's in Chicago! And she's a girl!"

"Are girls allowed to be heroes?" he teased her.

"Girls can be anything they want to be," she sniffed.

"Good answer, Kimmie," he laughed and mussed her red hair. "And you can do anything you want to do."

"I want to be a hero! And I want to see more pictures of her. I think they said her name was Shego."

"That's a silly name for a hero."

"Daaad! The two guys on Team Go are named Hego and Mego."

"Can I say those are silly names for heroes?"

"No, you can't. 'Cause heroes can do anything they want to do."

"I thought heroes had to obey the rules."

"You're being mean. Of course heroes obey the rules, and are honest, and help people. And I'm going to be a hero!"

"Heroes are honest?"

"Yes."

"So, how did that chocolate syrup really get on the counter in the kitchen? Jim and Tim deny all knowledge."

"Well… Ron thought we could make sundaes after school yesterday."

"I wonder why Ron thought that."

"Maybe 'cause I told him mommy bought ice cream and chocolate syrup at the store."

---

Hoping to change the subject from the photo Kim exclaimed, "Look at this," and held up a handmade leather wallet. The letters KAP had been embossed on the leather.

"Oh, bad memories Kim. My first summer at camp. That was the summer that made me what I am today. I was a normal kid until that nightmare."

"That's not true, I've known you since you were four. You were never normal."

"Ah, you're just saying that to make me feel better."

The red head, who had put aside her revulsion of the old coonskin cap and was now wearing it, bounced up and down on the bed when she saw the wallet, "Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it?"

"Will you let sister have the Pandaroo?"

"Yes."

"Okay, catch."

**Thirteen Years Ago… **

"Are you sure you don't want to go to Camp Wannaweep with me?" Ron asked again for the seventieth time.

"No," Kim grinned, "My nana is paying for me to go to Hero Camp! We're going to rappel down cliffs and jump from airplanes, and rescue beached whales, and fight forest fires, and, and… And I don't know what else. But one of the counselors listens for emergency broadcasts and we go out and do neat stuff. I hear we're even going to have a real retired Superhero there!"

"And your nana wants you to go?"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"

"I heard my dad and mom talking. My bubbe wanted to send me to Jewish camp, but mom said no or I'd come back too frum."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. But mom and dad said I'm going to a regular camp. And I'm going to swim, and canoe, and make leather wallets, and, and… I'm going to miss you and I promise to write you every day."

"I'll write you every day too."

"And I'll make you a wallet."

---

"You made me a lanyard with a whistle on it at camp that summer. I don't know if we'll find that in here or not. I used it when I was coaching the tweebs in soccer. I'm guessing they burned it after I stopped being their coach."

"I warned you, too competitive for your own good."

"That's silly. You should put your best effort into anything you do. How can you be too competitive?"

"You manage. You could never stand being number two at anything. Do you remember soccer in Jr. High gym class?"

Kim smiled, "I remember. It was when I met Bonnie."

"It wasn't a good meeting," Ron told the girls. "Bonnie had been to soccer camp and was, like, the best soccer player at the school--"

"The best girl?" a small voice asked.

"The best, period. She was good. And mommy had never played soccer before in her life. But after two weeks of soccer in gym class mommy was better. It made Bonnie mad. She and mommy didn't like each other for a long time."

"It's called skills transfer," Kim told them. "While I hadn't played soccer I had a lot of other skills that were important for the game. I had stamina and I was good with my feet. And I wasn't better than Bonnie after two weeks, but it was close. It took me three weeks."

Ron performed a loud stage whisper to the girls, "I bet Bonnie remembers it a lot differently from mommy." The girls giggled appreciatively and Kim went back to sorting.

After a couple minutes of silent sorting Kim spoke again, "Mom kept a box of my things for herself. When I looked in I saw she had the top of my first cheerleading uniform."

"How did you ever get I into cheerleading anyway? I can remember you on swim team -- but knowing how to swim seemed like something like a hero needed to know to rescue people. How did cheerleading tie in?"

"I'm not really sure. I think it was dad's idea. But you know how competitive I am. Once I got started I had to be team captain."

**Twelve Years Ago…**

"James, you are being silly."

"I am not."

"You are. You wanted Kim to be able to defend herself -- she's probably the best eleven year old in the nation in the martial arts. You let your mother send her to that hero camp last summer and she's going again this summer... I'd like to know how your mother knew about it and why we had to go through security clearance for Kim to attend. But after all that you're now worried that she is too butch?"

"I never said the B word! I said too much of a tomboy. She spends too much time wanting to be a hero. She needs to do something more feminine… Like baton twirling or cheerleading."

"I thought you said there were other girls in the Rocket Booster Club."

"There was one, her name was Justine Flanner. But she and Kim never hit it off and she dropped out. She said it wasn't rocket science. I mean, how can rocket science not be rocket science?"

"Don't take it personally, dear."

Kim found them talking in the kitchen a little later.

"Dad, could Ron come with me to Hero Camp this year?"

"I don't know, Kimmie. Does he want to go?"

"Well, he wants to be with me. And he hated the camp he went to last year. Nana told me that she could help get him in. But you have to talk with his mom and dad."

"I'll give Mr. Stoppable a call. But Kimmie, there is something I want you to do for me."

"What's that?"

"I'd like for you to try out for cheerleader this fall."

"Why?"

"Because you just have boys in your martial arts classes, and there are only boys in the Rocket Booster Club, and it seems like you don't have any friends who are girls."

Kim thought for a minute. She had heard Bonnie bragging about how she would be trying out for cheerleader this fall. It would be fun to beat Bonnie to a spot on the squad. "Okay, I promise. Now will you call Mr. Stoppable?"

"Okay. Are you sure this Hero Camp is what you really want?"

"I'm sure. I'm going to be a hero, just like Shego."

---

Kim looked again at the picture Ron had found. Even if she could avoid talking about it with him, she couldn't erase the discovery from her own mind. "I mean, I don't remember exactly after all these years, but I think I told dad something about how I was going to be a hero, just like Shego."

---

_Then, the child moved ten times 'round the seasons  
Skated over ten clear frozen streams  
Words like, "When you're older", must appease her  
And promises of someday make her dreams_

_And the seasons they go 'round and 'round  
And the painted ponies go up and down  
We're captive on the carousel of time  
We can't return we can only look behind  
From where we came,  
and go round and round and round  
In the circle game_


	3. Chapter 3  Betrayal

Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns all the various characters from the Kim Possible series. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 3 - Betrayal**

"And I knew about all this?" Ron asked. "It's not ringing any bells in my head."

"You knew it at the time. You forgot. It didn't mean as much to you as it did to me… Girls, go outside and play."

"Ah, mommy, no fair!"

"No, we need to talk, and we need to talk without little ears listening in." She handed over the jar with the holes in the lid she had found earlier. "Here, I'll give you each a dollar if you can find a lightning bug for me."

"A dollar?"

"Yes, now scoot."

"Each?"

"Yes, out now." As they headed for the stairs she called, "That's a dollar for each of you. Not for each lightning bug!"

Kim and Ron listened to the clatter of little feet on the steps and the sound of the front door opening and shutting, then silence returned to the house.

**Ten Years Ago… **

A somber thirteen year old sat on her parents' bed as they watched the morning news. "I checked the alt.heroes.teamgo newsgroup when I got up this morning," she said. "Someone who lives in Chicago said Team Go broke up."

"People say things on the web that aren't always true. You know that."

Kim perked up a little, "So it might not be true?"

"You don't even know if the person who wrote that really lives in Chicago."

"You're right! And it's not even on the news. So it can't be true! Thanks dad."

---

But fewer people came to the newsgroup all the time, and eventually it became a demon-haunted place filled with pornographers and trolls who posted things Kim didn't want to see. While the rare story on Hego still appeared no one had anything to report on Shego, except for rumors that she had gone to Europe and become a criminal. It was all confusing and frightening to Kim. She sent fan mail to Go Tower, but never received an answer.

---

**Seven Years ago…**

As the sea plane sat down on the river Wade's voice came over the Kimmunicator. "I can stream you the tape from the security camera now. This is the lab of Professor Akari."

A green and black figure flashed across the field of the camera too fast to follow, but the colors caught Kim's attention and fear stuck in her throat. _ "Please, God,"_ she prayed silently, _"don't let it be her."_

"Rewind and freeze, Wade." she requested.

Wade rewound the tape and slowed it down. Kim had not mistaken the uniform, but she refused to believe this was the woman she had once admired. It had to be someone who had copied the costume.

"Who is she?" She's good…"

Kim stared at the image frozen on the Kimmunicator. The picture was small and blurry from a combination of the small size of the Kimmunicator and the poor quality of the original security camera. She wasn't sure which was the stronger feeling -- still wanting to believe this was someone who copied Shego's old uniform or anger that a hero could go bad. She had always refused to believe the rumors about Shego, but the picture seemed to confirm her worst nightmare. As she tried to analyze her feelings Ron slurped noisily on his soda. "Is that necessary?" she snapped -- irritated more with herself than with Ron.

"Uh yeah, every drop counts when you're a thousand miles away from free refills." _"Geez, what's her problem today?"_ Ron wondered. _"Is this one of those female things?"_

Kim's stomach hurt as she and Ron hiked to Prof. Akari's lab, and she suspected the pain she felt had nothing to do with the mystery meat served in the school cafeteria for lunch that day.

---

Wade's call came just before classes started the next day at Middleton High. He sent Kim a mugshot, it wasn't a good image, but it was clearly Shego, "I took that freeze-frame from the security camera. Her name is Shego. She's wanted in eleven countries."

Kim felt her heart sink inside her, so it was true. The woman she had held up as a role model was a criminal.

Ron leaned over and peered at the image. Apparently he had completely forgotten the pictures Kim had up in her room years earlier. "Make that twelve," he growled, "Rrowwr."

Kim gave him a look of disgust, "So not your type, ugh."

She gave up the dream that the thief had not been Shego. Instead a rage began to build within Kim, a rage fueled by a sense of betrayal. How could a woman who was a hero, who had the respect of thousands, turn to crime? It made no sense. Kim took it as an almost personal insult, and made a silent promise to herself that she would have revenge. And she would never, never mention that she had ever regarded Shego as a hero, or had even heard of her before that day.

---

"I noticed it often seemed like it was personal between you and Shego. It was like you and Bonnie on a bigger screen. You wouldn't let either one of the them beat you."

"It was personal." Kim leaned back and closed her eyes. "I wish it hadn't been that way, but I really hated her. I didn't just want to defeat her; I needed to defeat her. I needed to prove she was wrong to quit. When I saw how vicious she had become I gave up hope there was any of the old hero left. I needed… I'm not even sure now what I needed then."

"There were fights where the hate didn't seem that strong."

"Oh, over time we came to respect each other. But I could never forget what she had been. And I could never figure out why she became a criminal. I think it scared me. If she was a hero who became a criminal, could it happen to me too? Maybe I needed … I don't know. I was a different person then."

"No, you've always been Kim Possible. And Kim Possible has always been a hero -- always will be."

"Thanks, Ron. What happened to Shego still scares me. But it's good to hear you say that."

"A lot of things may have changed in our lives, but I have faith in you."

---

_Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now  
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town  
And they tell her, "Take your time. It won't be long now.  
'Til your drag your feet to slow the circles down"_

_And the seasons they go 'round and 'round  
And the painted ponies go up and down  
We're captive on the carousel of time  
We can't return we can only look behind  
From where we came  
And go round and round and round  
In the circle game_


	4. Chapter 4  The Present

Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns all the various characters from the Kim Possible series. Any and all registered trade names are property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 4 - The Present**

Kim started suddenly, "We've been up here way too long, it's getting dark and the girls shouldn't have been out so long without anyone watching them."

The two hurried down the stairs, but as they went onto the porch they found a dark figure already there, watching the children out playing on the grass. Kim froze momentarily, unable to see clearly after moving from the light of the house to the darkness of the porch.

"Great parenting skills there, princess."

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to see them being neglected. This isn't the safest neighborhood in the world."

"Oh, yeah. Convicted felons can walk the streets freely around here. Is there a really safe neighborhood any place in the world to raise kids?"

"No, not really," Shego laughed. "Never has been. But there is an all pervasive case of nostalgia going around. People like to imagine that life was better once upon a time."

Ron left the two women on the porch and went out to play with the children. Shego raised an eyebrow, "So, why were they out here without an adult watching?"

Kim sighed, "My mom was cleaning out my old room. She told me to bring home a lot of the things I'd left behind. I was going through it with Ron, realizing what a huge part he is of my life."

Shego slapped her forehead, "Doh! Really? Like anyone who hasn't talked with either of you for five minutes wouldn't know that?"

"You're exceedingly rude."

"You're painfully oblivious. Everyone can see how much you two mean to each other."

Kim smiled, "But it's still fun to sit down and review your life history."

Shego was silent for a minute. "Fun for you, maybe. Do you have any idea how jealous I get of you and Ron?"

"Really?"

"Really. You two have history. I would have done anything to have a Ron in my life." Then she startled Kim by breaking into song, _ "If I had been so lucky as to have a steady brother  
"Who could talk to me as we are talking now to one another –  
"Who could give me good advice when he discovered I was erring  
"(Which is just the very favour which on you I am conferring),  
"My existence would have made a rather interesting idyll,  
"And I might have lived and died a very decent indiwiddle."_

"I already think you're crazy, you don't have to prove anything to me."

"Ruddigore, Gilbert and Sullivan. But seriously, who knows how I might have been different with that kind of an anchor."

"Like an anchor around your neck?"

Shego glared at the redhead, "You know what I mean. Like an anchor to give me stability."

"To hold you in place, keep you from getting ahead?"

"I'm going to tell Ron you said that. You know what I mean."

Kim laughed, "I know what you mean, and you're right. I'm very lucky to have him." Kim sang a couple lines from an old hymn, _"We have an anchor that keeps the soul  
"Steadfast and sure while the billows roll."_

"Knock it off, Possible, or I really will tell Ron you're putting him in place of Jesus Christ. I'm sure that's what every Jewish guy wants to hear."

Kim giggled, and Shego sighed. "I think he is what keeps you sane. Do you realize how fucked up your life could have been without Ron? Rocket scientist father, brain surgeon mother, the life you lead… Want to talk about how your brothers turned out?

"I'd rather not."

"Yeah, well, thank Ron you're as close to sane as you are. Not that you weren't good for him too."

Kim stared at the trio out in the yard before answering softly, "He's taught me a lot. I hope he knows that."

The watchers fell silent, listening to the sounds of the two real children and the blond man who was still one at heart.

"Ron found something in one of the boxes we were looking through. It… It was something I had wanted to forget. Maybe it was something I had really forgotten. It had to do with you."

"With me? A piece of rope from the first time I tied you up?"

"No, something years before that. Do you have any idea how many autographed pictures you sent out when you were a hero?"

"I was never a hero. I was a girl who didn't have the strength to stand up for herself. I let my brother run my life."

"There were a lot of us who thought you were a hero. My mom and dad got me a picture of you one Christmas--"

"God, you should have burned it."

"I thought I had. But Ron found it."

"You can burn it now."

"Maybe I will. It made me think about why I hated you for so long. I really felt like you had betrayed me… Betrayed all of us who thought you were a hero."

Shego stared silently out to the three dark shapes laughing and playing on the grass. "I was never a hero."

"So, were you never a criminal either?"

"Yes, I was a criminal," She sighed. "I still prefer the term mercenary. I ran as far as I could from Hego and Team Go, psychologically as well as physically. I think he was still running my life. Then I was doing things just to hurt him, I still wasn't thinking for myself."

"What did you want?"

"I never thought about it at the time. I should have. But I know what I want now. I want a place to call home. I want someone to come home to. I want two kids. I want the damn courts to return my right to vote one of these years. Felons are as interested in good government as anyone else."

Kim laughed, "I told you why I hated you for so long. Why did you hate me?"

Shego leaned back on the steps and thought for a minute, "Oh, I had lots of reasons to hate you. I hated you because you were good. I hated you because you were a threat. Everyone thought I was the best, but you actually beat me once or twice--"

"Only once or twice?"

"Yeah, only once or twice."

"What color is the sky in your world?"

Shego glared at her, "Anyway, I think I saw some of me in you. You reminded me of something I hated and wanted to forget. I wondered who was manipulating you, who was making you go out and do the 'hero thing.' I hated your parents for letting you get into danger. I hated you for not thinking for yourself. It took me a long time to learn you really get into this hero nonsense. It is what you want to do with your life."

"Nice to know you finally accept my 'hero nonsense.'"

"I just don't like the idea of you getting hurt."

"Your home is the most dangerous place in your life. Most accidents happen in the bathroom."

"Really? I would have guessed most accidents happen in the bedroom, or maybe the back seat of a car out on a country road. I heard about a redhead who was born almost two years premature--"

"Hush," Kim blushed. Then she called across the darkening yard, "Girls, time to start thinking about bed."

"Ah, mom, just a little more time."

"Ron!" Shego yelled across the yard, "Here's a twenty. Go buy the girls a milkshake before bedtime."

"No!" Kim shouted, "The sugar will have them bouncing off the walls."

"Urban legend!" Shego bellowed. "Playing doesn't tire them out -- it just gets them excited. Give them a snack, the blood goes to their tummies and they sleep better. Read them a book to quiet them down. The sugar thing isn't true."

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Uh, if you two will stop setting a bad example for the children I am going to take them into kitchen and blend a couple fruit smoothies for them."

The trio came in, each girl holding one of his hands as he walked up to the house. The redhead was tugging on his arm, "Hurry up, daddy!"

As they reached the porch Ron turned them loose, "Girls, go to the kitchen and get out the yogurt, bananas, strawberries, and anything else you want. I want to talk to mommy for a minute, I'll be right in."

"Can I get out the orange juice?"

"Sure."

"How about blueberries?"

"If you can find any. I thought you finished them on your breakfast cereal yesterday."

"There's another box. I think."

"Well, go in and look for them. I'll come in in just a second. Oh, I picked up some canned peaches at the grocery store. Look in the pantry if you want them."

As the two girls went into the house Ron turned to the women on the porch.

"Does it bother you when Kasy calls me Daddy?" he asked Kim.

"No, a lot of people think you are."

"Well, you're going to have to explain where they came from to them eventually."

"Ron," Shego interrupted. "They're years away from normal sex education. I want to be there when Kim sits them down and tries to explain where they came from."

"Oh, you'll be there partner. I promise you, you'll be there," Kim said.

"You two have two beautiful daughters," Ron said.

"We know, but we don't need the world pointing to them as freaks. And if Kasy wants to call you daddy because she thinks every kid has a daddy it just makes it easier for everyone."

"And someday," Shego said, "there will be little Stoppables calling you Daddy. And you really will be.  
"God, Ron, you could almost have a harem with all the women you have panting after you. Just pick one and settle down."

Ron grinned, "Ah, but then I have to disappoint all the others. But gotta run, I need to go spend quality time with two of my favorite little ladies right now."

"Leave some smoothies for us!" Kim shouted as Ron went inside. "We are so lucky to have him here with us," she said to Shego as the door closed behind Ron.

"But some day he will graduate from college, and our little Ron will spread his wings and fly away from the nest."

"We can't keep him barefoot and chained to the stove in the kitchen?"

"No, Kim. As wonderful as that would be it would be wrong. I'm almost certain slavery has been outlawed. When he decides what he wants to do he is allowed to do it -- we just get to exploit him until then." The pale woman fell silent for a minute, then added, "Ron gave you balance. He kept you sane."

"God, I really wish you'd had a Ron. You've still got issues Shego."

The older woman grinned. "Yeah, you've got Ron keeping you sane and me pushing you the other way. You should have listened to the old saying."

"Which one?"

"Never go to bed with a woman who has more problems than you do."

"I'm a hero, I unselfishly throw myself at a problem, or on top of a her."

"And, heroic soul that you are, there is no pleasure for you in any of these acts of kindness… Wait a minute, you had a picture of me?"

"Yeah, you even signed to me personally. You must have done dozens of those at a sitting."

"I was your hero? We've been living together for four years and this is the first I've heard about this?"

"Well, you're always so full of yourself I didn't want to say anything."

"Seriously, why did I never hear this before?"

"Because now that you know I'm never going to hear the end of it."

"Actually, I'd have probably been happy never to hear about that."

"Why? You really don't want to know you were an influence in my life?"

"That wasn't me. That was a part of my life I try very hard to forget. I really don't like reminders of those days. Please, get rid of the picture."

"There is nothing good you remember about those years?"

Shego paused for a minute. "Flight training. I had some damn fine instructors work with me so I could fly the Go jet. They said I was a natural. I love to fly. Maybe I could have been a pilot -- not that it can happen now with my record." Shego leaned over and kissed Kim, "Of course, if I'd been a pilot I'd have never met you. And who would you have had to inspire you?"

"Okay, that's one good thing about you being bad. You know, thinking about that picture, you were really cute at sixteen."

"Burn the picture, Kim."

"I think I'll have it framed."

"Burn the picture, Kim. I mean it. Jesus, people think that I'm evil."

"I'll hang it up in my cubicle at Global Justice."

"Seriously, Kim. The choices are burn the picture or shoot me."

"Umm, tough call. Can I get back to you on that one?" Before Shego could reply Kim stood up. "Let's go into the kitchen. Ron and the girls will drink all the smoothies if we aren't quick enough."

---

_So the years spin by and now the girl is twenty  
Though her dreams have lost some grandeur coming true  
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty  
Before the last revolving year is through._

_And the seasons they go 'round and 'round  
And the painted ponies go up and down  
We're captive on the carousel of time  
We can't return, we can only look behind  
From where we came  
And go round and 'round and 'round  
In the circle game_

---

The End

NoDrogs created Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible in A Small Possibility. Their origin has been utterly altered for my stories.

The Carousel of Time was originally written for a GWA Guess the author contest. The theme was how did Kim Possible become the hero that she is? It is not written to be part of the Best Enemies storyline, but can be read as a part of that series if you wish. If you want to consider it part of the series I recommend you see it happening between** An Equinox Carol** and** Monkey Business III**. At the moment I don't regard it as part of the series, and I hope my opinion is still worth something in regard to my stories.


End file.
